I wish...

I wish I never felt attraction for people.

I wish that I never gave myself the possibility of getting hurt by allowing myself to invest myself in a person.


I wish it were easier.
I wish there was no such thing as unrequited love/lust.


I wish every person that I was attracted to was also attracted to me.
I wish I didn't have these feelings.


I wish that all I had to concentrate on was school and not this person.
I wish I had the guts to ask this person out.


I wish I spent more time with this person.
I wish things weren't so complicated.


I wish I could tell this person who I am without caring what they think.
I wish dating didn't exist.
I wish I were in a relationship.

Senioritis

I've been having trouble lately with a couple of my classes. The trouble is that I am not enjoying them. They aren't interesting and the work is very rudimentary for me. I don't like being bored. I like being challenged (this is a spanish class).



I'm not sure why, but I want to be out of school right about NOW. I am ready for it to be May and to be getting my diploma and to be getting the Hell out of here. I really just wish that I had graduated already. I know four of my friends who graduated this last May. I should have been one of them, but wasn't unfortunately.

I really like the fact that I am now an English major as well as a Spanish major. I am enjoying both of my English classes right now. They stimulate me in a way that my classes will never be able to because they are in my native language and I can go more deep into my native language than I can in Spanish.



I guess another problem that I'm having is that I'm really tired of working at the station. I wish I had a different job where I don't have to get up at 6 a.m. on the weekends. I just feel like there is something else out there that is more engaging for me and that is more interesting to me. I'm hoping there's something out there at least. It doesn't have to be in Flint, but it would be nice if it were in Genessee County. I'm getting tired of my long commute.

I'm sorry if this sounds like one long complaint. I guess it's because I feel like people have been giving me their complaints a lot lately. It gets annoying when people feel like I'm their therapist. I understand if you're having a rough day and need to talk about it. It's just that when it becomes an everyday occurence, then I start feeling as if the friendship is a bit one-sided.



I saw Easy A the other day. I'm going to review it for the M Times. I'm way excited. Look for it in the October 4th issue. 

Writing to Avoid Writing

Have you ever done homework to avoid other homework that you don't want to do? That's what I'm doing right now. I'm writing to avoid other writing. This is procrastination at its best.

I'm going to get a little philosophical on you. Beware.

Can I do something productive if I'm avoiding something that is much more productive by doing something kind of productive?

Spanish homework is the thing that I'm avoiding. It's only 200 words but I don't want to do it. I am so much better at writing in English than I am in Spanish. It's probably because English is my native language.

It just so happens that writing in Spanish means making mistakes which I don't like doing. I don't like getting a (-) instead of a (+). I'm sure that other people are the same way. Nobody likes getting critiqued.

Oh well. I guess that's just how it is.

Late Night Ramblings

So I've been thinking about my writing a lot lately since I've been doing a lot of writing as of late. That's o tprobably because I have three blogs, two writing classes and I'm also working for the M Times this semester.



Yes. That is a lot of writing. I realized this. I didn't realize all what I had signed up for until I started writing pretty much every day. It's pretty intense.

So I guess I've been struggling with my Advanced Creative Writing class a little bit. The one piece that I'm writing hasn't gotten very far yet. I find that with my fiction writing, I am very critical of my writing which can crimp my style at times.



I've decided that I need to just write and not think about it so much. If I think too much about it, then I don't actually get to the writing part. Instead, I end up criticizing myself and making myself feel worse.



So yeah. Just needed to write it down.

Music to my Ears

So I just went to my favorite Flint cafe, Good Beans, and saw spoken word there. It was so awesome. It was like music to my ears. I've heard spoken word before, but this was more intense. I guess that's what happens when people speak louder and faster...



No, really. It's weird when people write or speak about subjects like war and violence which I know nothing of. I don't know them from my own experience. I can be really inspired by their words, though.

That's one thing when it comes to poetry, I feel really White. I mean that word in the biggest sense that you could make it. I haven't experienced a lot of hardship in my life. I've never experienced any kind of real violence first hand. My home life has always been really wonderful. My life has always just been really easy.



So that lends to the question of what can I write about? I guess I can write about less "serious" subjects. I guess that's okay. I wasn't the only White person who went up to the mic for open mic night which was nice. I was the only female, though, which I thought was unnecessary. I've heard spoken word done by a woman and I thought it was really cool.

Anyways. Those are my thoughts. And I'm sticking to them.

School

So I am really excited for these next two semesters. I am actually going to be graduating in May 2011! That's the most exciting thing ever at least to me. I can't wait to get out into the real world and get a job.

The thing that's different about this semester is that I'm going to be taking fifteen credit hours. That's not really that much, but it's the most I've ever taken. I usually take 12 credit hours. I'm sure it won't be very difficult, but it's going to be a bit time-consuming. I'm thinking about my one spanish class, in particular. We had homework to do on the first day of class. I wasn't very happy.

I am looking to be more social this year, also. I want to go outside my box and try new things and meet new people. I did get to meet new people last Friday, which was nice. I went to the Flint Art Walk and got to meet some students who go to U of M with me which was cool. I always enjoy meeting people who are in my age group.

So I was thinking about trying something new this week. There's this Stoplight Party going on this Thurday where people where a different color depending on their relationship status. I don't know how I feel about putting myself out there like that. It would be very difficult to be that open with people I've never met. I don't know. I'll think about it some more.

Until next time.

I have a new blog

No I'm not leaving you. I just wanted to let you know that I am doing a blog for one of my class. I am going to be writing about music which includes concerts, albums and artists. Don't worry. I'll still post to this blog, also.

Just FYI.